So I was at the doctor's office yesterday (I really was), and it reminded me of the two best
things about going to the doctor when you're little: stickers and TB shots.
No, wait, not TB shots, but Highlights for Children (named as such, I assume, to distinguish it from
Highlights for Adults, a widely unpopular soft-core pornography magazine containing
X-rated connect the dots and dirty word puzzles.) Highlights for Children featured a reoccurring comic strip starring two brothers,
Goofus and Gallant. The purpose of this strip was ostensibly to teach kids the right and wrong thing
to do by way of contrasting examples, such as:
"Gallant helps old Mrs. Smiggles with her groceries."
"Goofus laughs at feeble old Mrs. Smiggles as he blasts her with the garden hose."
or:
"Gallant makes sure to brush his teeth three times a day."
"Goofus sells nuclear secrets to the Soviet Union."
Boy, did I hate Gallant. Stupid do-gooder.
Anyway, I wasted an EXTRA amount of time today and created Goofus and Gallant for Kickballers:
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Next game: Summer 2008. Stay tuned for exact date!
Need a ride to/from kickball? Take the free Kickball Unbelievably Überamazing Limousine (KUÜL) service -- now with brakes!!! Complete details are available at www.usckickball.com/ride
As always, feel free to call the Official Kickball Hotline of Officialness (OK HO) [323.363.1179] and/or email kickball@usc.edu for all your kickballing needs.
